i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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