You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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