When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
