gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
