she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize