Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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