Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
