You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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