So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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