it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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