The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish you could order shots online.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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