like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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