How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
