i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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