So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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