Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
