Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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