Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
