I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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