It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
