I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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