They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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