happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
