so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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