Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
