you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
God, I missed his penis.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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