My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
