Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize