I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
