I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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