I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
