We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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