Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
