it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
