my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
