Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
