Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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