He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
