This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
