dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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