Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
