sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
