you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize