Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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