It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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