i barfeds in our rink
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
