why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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