This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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