Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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