Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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