Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
