I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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