We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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