I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
