No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
