Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
