That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
