I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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