I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
