she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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