note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
