dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Michael Bay diarrhea
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Randomize
