i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
