I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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