maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize