is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
