i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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