in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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