she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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